I haven't posted anything for quite awhile but the recent events in my home state related to the overturning of the ban on same-sex marriage have prompted me to write. Most of my family and many of my friends are LDS and some, I assume, are opposed to same-sex marriage. But I think there are good reasons, both moral and constitutional, to support same sex marriage. Some Utahn's have complained that Judge Robert J. Shelby Dec. 20 decision, enjoining the State of Utah from enforcing its constitutional and statutory ban on same-sex marriage ignored the will of the majority of the state's residents. However, as Rick L. Knuth pointed out in his December 28 Salt Lake Tribune column, constitutional rights cannot and should not determined by majority vote. That's because it is often the majority who wish to deny the rights of minorities. It is the courts that have to make a decision based on the people and cases that come before it. It is judges who have to determine if rights have indeed been violated in the case of particular individuals or groups. This cannot be determined by majority vote no matter how much the majority would like to think so.
Also, I don't think that any of the arguments against same sex marriage stand up to logical or historical scrutiny. Many of those arguments, perhaps all of them, were also leveled against inter-racial marriage back in the 60s and are now being re-iterated in this newer context. They are also the same arguments that were leveled against Mormon polygamous marriages around the turn of the century. But today's arguments against same sex marriage don't seem to me to be any more valid now than they were then. My prediction is that in 20 years, those who voice opposition against same sex marriage will be ashamed to admit that they were ever against it.
I also believe that the LDS church has and will continue to evolve its position on same sex marriage. It's new website http://www.mormonsandgays.org/ is much more benign in its opposition than was the case when I was a Mormon attending BYU. Ernest L. Wilkinson, president of BYU from 1951 to 1971 was known for standing in front of the entire student body and inviting "any students who have any homosexual tendencies to leave the university immediately...." "We do not want others on this campus," he said, "to be contaminated by your presence."1 Fortunately, this is no longer the prevailing attitude at BYU where, according to recent reports, LGTB acceptance is growing. Prominent LDS members such as Carol Lynn Pearson, Benji Schwinner and Mitch Mayne who have bravely told their stories have, I think, helped change the opinions of many of their fellow church members as well as some church leaders. Consequently, the church's recent statement released after the December judicial decision is much more subdued and conciliatory and emphasizes respect for all people. As this December 28 Op-Ed in the Salt Lake Tribune points out, doctrines in the LDS have evolved over time and sometimes have taken a 180-degree turn (plural marriage and priesthood/temple work for blacks to name just two examples).
Finally, in my view, families become stronger, not weaker when we allow people who love each other to get married and to commit to each other for a lifetime. Those who wish for a stagnant definition of the traditional family forget that the defining characteristics of the "traditional" family depend on what culture and which era of history one looks it. Arranged marriages were traditional for centuries and still haven't died out in some middle-eastern cultures. At one time in history, being required to marry your rapist was part of the societal norm. In more recent history, girls marrying in their late teens was common at the turn of the century. Even in the 1950s, an era that many look to as the prime of the ideal family, the traditional family wasn't so ideal. Women were unable to get divorced easily, even from an abusive spouse and there were few options available to women who divorced. To me, the tradition we should want to preserve is that of honoring all loving, committed relationships and respecting each others differences and common desires in life.
